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11/07/2013: "Hot & Cold"

Blech. I'm hot. I'm cold. I'm hot, I'm cold. I'm angr- no, wait. Irritable. Ah yes. Irritability. Hm. (pause) Yeah, no. I don't like it. Not one bit. Hot and cold is tough enough, but irritability too? Gah! Daytime is a treat. Not. Being mild mannered (well most the time?) this hot cold and irritable stuff is quite annoying at work. I thought I conquered the hot and cold thing with a fan that is on and off at my desk. But now I'm finding I get a bit irritable and it makes me annoyed as sometimes I don't know what set me off. I'm thinking maybe upping my mood med a half tab will help. And nights - covers on and off all night. Then I'm sitting up, leaning against the wall for the coolness. (the side of my bed is against the wall thankfully so I don't have to get out of bed...) Thankfully, I haven't had a full sweat. Just the perspiring kind and it's yucky to me just the same. At any rate, I'm up too early but it's mostly to cool down the body which tends to feed hot like furnace regardless.

But with all this going on, and having auditors in the office looking for things that haven't been done in some time due to lack of staff and I only have two hands dammit and only one other with the ability to do what I do and she can't help because of the work she has to get done... I've had an anxiety attack and irritable spells. Luckily my sister works with me and she notices when this happens and comes immediately to my attention to put me back in the right frame of mind - or at least soothes me. (Thank you Dot) And so, I'm very glad I have a week off coming up REAL SOON. I think the pace at work is making me cranky. Or I need more meds. No... I need to have a proper sized staff! DAMMIT. Okay, I'm fine, calm down. (heavy sigh) I guess we'll get written up by the Auditors for not having all the work done and right now, all I can say is I try hard to do my best, but even I get beat down when I don't have the help I need.


Funny how I can admit that. I need help with the work. But it's difficult to admit that for the condo. It's so odd to say home. I always say House - "it's at the house" "call the house" even the cell phone number was "House". It was home, yes, but I said House all the time. I don't know why. Maybe that's something I picked up from Dad? So here at the Condo. It is now my home, but it's not a house, so I say Condo. I almost called it the Apartment. (gasp) I've never lived in an apartment, but yeah it's the same thing but more of them?! What is the difference other than usually you OWN a condo though they can be rented... yet I never heard of anyone owning an apartment unless it's a landlord and he owns the building that has apartments, so it's not the same thing? OR is it. Some people own more than one condo. But not always stacked or beside each other. Hm. So strange. And condos usually have trustees and management. Apartments don't. That must be the difference or mostly.

At any rate, my cell-phone now has Condo instead of House listed. Home would essentially cover either, but that just doesn't seem to be the right name. Home is when I'm in it. Ha, there it is. That's the reason for it. I think. And I do really love being in the Condo. It feels like home, yes, LOOKS like home :X Sorry, I'm a messy disorganized organized person. And I've never ever admitted to being domestic. I've said and still stand by "my only domestic quality is that I live in a home" I straight out say "I'm not domestic" so that should not be a surprise. Which is probably why I feel so at home here in my new place. Well, going on four years now. Truly the best thing my sibs ever talked me into and thank you for that. It's comfortable, it's in my safe zone (meaning in the same area as the old house) and I don't feel terrified.

Of course I went off the subject of Hot & Cold. Do you really care? Noooo you don't. You find amusement in my rambling raving antics. And (smiles) it allows me to let off steam (fan fan fan) and to relax once again.

I suppose I should start the day with kitty box duty (blech) and then the other morning stuff to do.

Good Day and Good Blessings!